CAN I BE BY YOUR SIDE??

Thursday, November 30, 2006

ok..2dae... its exactly one week eversince teddy left and be gone.. i miss him so much.. i dunoe will he be back.. haiz.... aniways...

2dae i stayed at home for the whole day..so bored.. my mum is forever making noise at home.. with this lah, that lah.. haiz... i dunoe wat to do actually.. im in no mood to do aniting.. aniway, i freaking dowan to be in the WASBE thingy.. firstly, im only going to play two songs for the entire concert..secondly, no transportation will be provided..wat do u tink??i dun like seh this kinda of service.. its good enuff that i want to perform..so atleast spare a thought lah.. u tink my instrument is as light as the flute... wth????????????????? im so going to hate the teachers in charge.. imagine i have to travel back and forth with that freaking heavy imstrument only for two pathetic songs..not nice sumore the songs.. i hate the school and the teachers organising this freaking concert.. well i dun give a damn whether WASBE or me performing at esplanade is a big thing... well, i rather me performing in my sch hall but then being treated nicely..like a musician.. just because theres no tuba u can freaking ignore abt the transportation issue..well for goodness sake, u can carry my instrument for all u want... i seriously am not being petty or wat..but this is nonsense lah..expect me to carry it on my own.. if easy, i dun mind tau... atleast give me taxi money ah if i got no choice but to take taxi..but...they dun.. everything our money when its supposed to be a sch function...they can simply say... "go and work things out urself".... imagine ah wat i felt when he just said that to me... knnbccb!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im in no mood to perform now after all the treatment that i got.. i freaking hate the band, the teachers and watever else.... if only i can turn back time......

ok

chill

chill

im sorry pppl.. im just angry...and frustrated.. i tink i just miss him so much... haiz....please cum back soon....

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
4:23 AM;

Monday, November 27, 2006

okae..2dae i didnt do much as im at home for the whole day.. okae..ytd we had our ECP trip.. it was fun but not as fun...am i contradicting you guys? oh well... its fun okae,, its just dat its abit unplanned actually.. so everyone basically did their own activity.. there wasnt a proper activity ah.. but as a whole im happy enuff cause i can hang out with my frens and went for a swim.. there were leea, siti, kat, AR, Hafiz, 2 Hafiz's fren and a bunch of AR's fren... so altogether about 10 of us i think.. we reached there around 1pm... the rest were there oredi.. so me and siti and leea were the ones late..haha!!! Hafiz brought a HUGE...i realLy mean HUGE..tent..haha! so itwas easy for us to locate them actually.. we then went for a swim..it was nice.. after sooooo long, it felt so nice dipping myself..haha!!! played 20 questions with hafiz while swimming... then went to eat at mac..hehe..bla bla bla.. well i reached home around 11.30 pm.. luckily my mum didnt nag...well she did stare..but staring is so much better than nagging..

okae..this saturday.. my beloved OPWO will be having a concert...im looking forward to it ppl.. aniways...im missing him so much..when are you cuming back????hopefully ure fine...take care..

"its hard holding you, loving you, losing you....."

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
4:27 AM;

Thursday, November 23, 2006

aiyayayayayayaya.....im so bored at home that i can find time to update this blog of mine.... i dunoe wat to do actually..haha...well, i received this question and answer thingy... well, just see for urself k?

COLOURS

[RED]
Closest red thing to you?
my shirt

Last thing to make you angry?
if this sun east coast trip is cancelled...i will be damn angry..

Do you have a temper?
no..to me, happy-go-lucky

Are you a fan of romance?
of course

[ORANGE]
Closest orange thing to you?
my shorts

Do you like to burn things?
no...burn wat?? of course no..

Dress up for Halloween?
never dress up for halloween before..but i tink it will be cool..

Are you usually a warm-hearted person?
of course..hehe

Do you have anything against gingerhair?
in the first place wat is ginger hair..haha

Are you usually full of energy?
yup..if i got the mood then i will be damn hyper..

[YELLOW]
Closest yellow thing to you?
my sis bolster..im inside her room..haha

The happiest time[s] of your life?
u sure u want me to list it all? well, currently will ne time when i went out with teddy.. other happiest times, well u can see for urself at my profile list..

Favorite holiday?
to Australia Gold Coast

What makes you happy?
chocolates and teddy meddy

Are you a coward?
duno... i tink im not.. i tink i am.. well it depends on the situation..

Do you burn or tan?
no..im tanned enuff..haha

[GREEN]
Closest green thing to you?
flower..

Do you care about the enviroment?
of course i do.. im a geog student for goodness sake..haha

Are you jealous of anyone right now?
honestly, yar.. but hu cres, i will have my chance one day..

Are you a lucky person?
duno.. i consider myself to be lucky enuff compared to the less fortunate...:)

Do you always want what you can't have?
yar...but i make sure i will get it one day.. im an idealist..

Are you Irish?
no..im Singaporean.. im a mixed of Sri-lankan and Javanese

[BLUE]
Closest blue thing to you?
my hp..

Are you good at calming people down?
not really.. but i can do better next time..

Do you like the sea?
of course..eventhough i cant swim for nuts

Last thing to make you cry?
if i lost my hp..actually i wun cry at all.. cause i want a new phone.. but i sure noe wats the first thing that will make me cry..

Are you a logical thinker?
i dun tink so..

Can you sleep easily?
yar.. if im tired of course..

[PURPLE]
Last purple thing you saw?
cant remember

Like being treated to expensive things?
of course..but normal stuffs will do too..

Do you like mysterious things?
ahah...of course...hehe

Favorite type of chocolate?
take note evryone....RITTER SPORTS CORNFLAKES..

Are you creative?
well i tink so..hehe

[PINK]
Closest pink thing to you?
candle

Do you like sweet foods?
well of course

Like play-fighting?
yar i like fighting games..hehe

Are you sensitive?
i tink so

Do you like punk music?
i do listen to it sumtimes

[WHITE]
Closest white thing to you?
my comp screen now

Would you say you're innocent?
im innocent okae..

Always try to keep the peace?
yup

How do you imagine your wedding?
cute, simple yet elegant..that will be nice

Do you like to play in the snow?
yar of course i do...

Are you afraid of going to the doctorsor dentist?
doctor no, dentist yes..hehe

[BLACK]
Closest black thing to you?
my laptop

Are you sophisticated or silly?
im nore silly that sophisticated

Would you like to go to space?
yar.. it will be fun..

Do you have a lot of secrets?
alot?? not sure.. but i do have secrets..

What is your favorite color?
orange.......well i just like bright colours

Does the color you wear affect your mood?
nope

SAGITTARIUS
Spontaneous.
Freak in Bed.
High sex appeal. {wat the hell??}
Rare to find.
Great when found.
Loves being in long relationships.
The one
So much love to give
Not one to mess wit
Very pretty.
Very romantic.
Nice to everyone
They meet.
Their Love is one of a kind. {yar true}
Silly, fun and sweet

LAST BUT NOT LEAST...
i just miss teddy meddy...ur safety is in my prayers..

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
11:06 PM;

today ive been stuck at home..bored as usual.. i have no more sch oredi and now its officially a sch holiday to me..yippee!!! but im sure gonna miss sch so much..especially the ppl there..and of course the food too..haha!! aniway, today is the day that teddy is going to be so far from me..i mean real far.. but eventhough it is so far, hes just so near to me, in my heart...cedebah!!! im sure going to miss him..hehe!!

2dae my small bro got back his PSLE result...haha!! im still the highest PSLE agregate scorer in my family.. my bro is 2 points behind me..phew!! aniway, i want him to go my sec sch and of course join band.. but i cant force him.. if hes heart is not into band like me..i bet he will create a hard time for my conductor..hehe!!

i have a feeling ryt..i will be out of WASBE.. firstly is because, i didnt attend band practice for two weeks.. secondly, i heard from one of my band fren, he said that for the WASBE practices ryt, u have to go to the place urself to practice.. there wun be any transport provided.. WTH!! u tink im going to carry my HUGE double bass all the way to MOE hall is it.. no way!! its not heavy but it will be so leceh lah.. unless sumone can help me..actually can take the car but u tink my bro got time wanna send me by car is it? he oso got work lah.. my father? well, i dun tink so too.. until they get me a proper transportation, then i will perform..if i have to be out of that that concert, well i dun mind.. its not my fault wat.. i really want to perform lah..but they never give me a proper transport..haha!! its okae i will be having another concert next year with my beloved ex-OPWO members..now known as OPAW.. so check me out.. the details of the concert will be given out soon i guess.. yessa!! finally get to perform a proper concert after sooo looong..

i miss him..absence makes the heart grow fonder?? well, its true....hehe

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
4:10 AM;

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

ok now im like listening to the band songs that i used to play with my beloved Orchid Park Wind Orchestra members... the songs are making me happy and since im sad, i love listening to it lah..hehe.. i seriously miss the wonderful times we had for band practises.. i still remember the hard work we put in especially for our 2005 SYF.. i still remember theres one point of time when our conductor, Mr Tan wanted to quit.. it was like so near the comp lah.. he was just disappointed to the fact that we were not at even the Bronze award standard.. we as a whole band went to his house and pleaded him to come back and continue teaching us..it was a moment where everone cried..it was so emotional..haha!! then, i still remember the last week to our competion, we had to be in sch like 6am in the morning to practise our comp pieces...it was a tiring job for us to wake up everyday to practise..but since our conductor was able to do it, we also did our part by doing what he asked us to do.. we practised, practised and practised, just to get the desirable award that we initially expected, Silver... after all the hard work and preseverance, we managed to get it...Gold with Honours.. nothing like what we expected..

i still remember the few minutes before the announcement of the results.. i even cried beforethe results were announced.. i was so damn scrared.. i did not want to suffer the humiliation that we went thru for like two years.. now!!!! look ppl in the sch..especially the teachers that want us down.. we have proved ourselves that we can also do it..haha!!!

ok enuff of always thinking abt the past..life shud go on rite? aniway.. im feeling disappointed and sad but im not regretting it at all.. well, dun undastan rite? ok... im feeling disappointed that this cuming ecp trip will be lacking in sumone.. well.. its okae.. im just a bit disappointed.. aniway thres plenty of opportunity.. im oso sad to the fact that im just not the one for....well u noe hu... maybe its just not me... thatz y im feeling kinda down lately.. well, i cant force feelings but i just hope that what i wish for will cum true one day...:)

well, im not regretting having feelings for teddy...cause im sure hes just nice for me.. i noe that it might hurt me, but its okae... i can sacrifice it.. i shud be true to my feelings.. i cant be denial towards myself rite? so.... i shud just be true..and follow my feelings.. well like hafiz said..im an idealist person.. i wun give up till the very end..:)

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
4:46 AM;

Monday, November 20, 2006

today i had to go to sch cause i had literature workshop frm 10am to 4.30pm.. i was actually reluctant to go for the workshop cause as u all know, i dun really like literature.. but aniway..the course was fun.. we learned about the shakespear book "tempest".. i was clueless at first as i havent read the book yet..but after the workshop, i undastan more about the text.. we did role play and it was damn funny to see my classmates acted out the various roles..haha!

aniway, tmr i still got the similar workshop...buit we are going to a production whereby i have to act out as one of the characters in the play..i must act out the role of...oppsssss.....i forgot the name lah,,buit im supposed to act as the royal jester..haha! cute huh? i bet its going to be funny..haha!

actually i expected sumthing today but i culdnt get it..its okae..maybe tmr i guess.. i seriously cant wait for this sun ecp trip.. im looking forward to the activities we going to do..like cycling, playing some beach sports i guess, play cards and the interesting one will be the swim.. i really wanna go for a swim for like such a long time ah.. i actually cant swim for "kacang"(nuts).. but i really want to swim..haha! so see you all at ecp k ppl...

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
4:25 AM;

Saturday, November 18, 2006

oh well.. im at home rite now..duno wat to do.. surfing the net is not dat fun animore.. i cant get my nap cause my bro is now sleeping on my bed lah.. i got nowhere to slp..so irritating seh.. he shud just get himself a proper bed.. hes been slping at the sofa.. and now, i bet hes trying to get every opportunity to get to slp on my bed.. ape seh??? i noe lah my bed very cosy thats why u cant get ur ass off that bed rite bro?? haha! its okae.. he must be tired i guess.. let him have his handsome sleep..a proper handsome sleep..haha!!

aniway..later im having my alumni band pract..cant wait actually cause im seriously dead bored at home..online pun no one is taliking to me lah.. expecting sumone to talk but he doesnt bother talking to me lah.. so sad.. its always me and never him.. its okae.. i will just wait till u realise it one day.. so today for alumni pract i duno wat songs are we going to play.. hopefully interesting ones which got nice bass parts.. and oso..the long awaited mace pract.. ive been wanting to get my hands on that mace.. ive been playing the mace eversince hussaini brought the mace back home.. i really wanna play that mace again..today i hope i will pick a new style of throwing and hopefully i can throw it successfully.. haha! i tink being a drum major is cool.. i mean only when the mace part..haha!

okae..anw..im still sad.. sad that he doesnt seem to care abt me at all.. i duno wat he wants actually but i seriously wanna noe wats on his mind rite now.. hu is "she"? i rather it be sumone that i duno so that i wun feel as sad.. but still im oso sad at the mention of "her".. hu seh? haiz.. hopefully like wat hafiz said..if im true to my feelings.. he will surely realise it one day.. hehe! INSYAALLAH...

"i really want you to see me...the only me"

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
10:30 PM;

Thursday, November 16, 2006

hello ppl... ytd i went out with kat, AR, hafiz and siti..we went to east coast park..its actually an unplanned outing.. i went to sch in the morning for maths remedial but then i met up with hafiz, kat and AR.. then i felt like lazy wanna go for maths.. sumore its ms tan.. i will confirm get sleepy during her lesson.. so aniway, i met up with them.. then they ajak me and siti to AR's class bbq.. i felt kinda weird to go to sumone's class party.. i duno any of them lah.. but since im damn bored i agreed to the idea..

so we waited for kat to clean up her so messy locker.. while waiting, we surfed the net and created quite a havoc in that sch.. sorry if i disturbed the ppl taking exams ytd.. ermmm okae.. then we took a bus to tamp.. there, we met up with siti who went home to chg first.. haha! leceh lah u....hehe! aniway we then went to kat's hse..ate shephards pie(err i wonder if i spelled it correctly).. ate merci chocolates.. i ate like seven of it lah.. i tink because i was sad abt the day before ytd.. i tink chocs make me happy.. hafiz tried to give me sum ..wat u call that? psycho-therapy? okae yar...well im not a psycho okae. he just wanna test it out but eventually it failed..haha! too noisy! we left kat's hse ard 3 plus i guess..i dint take notice of the time lah.. ahhhhhhhhh! i forgot stg.. i played a new game called worms with hafiz.. haha! the first game i won okae...nt bad for a beginner like me tau..

after dat, we reached east soast park.. played with the water for a while.. didnt spend much time actually cause we reached there like nearly 6 i tink.. so at abt 7 we sat at the rocks near the beach.. me, hafiz and siti... hehe! we talked, talked and talked..haha! it was windy.. i actually felt like sleeping lah.. ard 8 me and siti went home frm there.. the best part of the trip was the "jump".. i jumped twice from the rock to the sand..haha! mcm fun gitu.. actually i tink i hurt my hips frm that jumping..haha!

okae..nxt sun we going east coast again..yippee! hope its gonna be fun..yey!

anw, i heard many wonderful stories frm hafiz..okae.. he also told me abt his ambition.. hes so sweet.. he said teddy will be like him oso..he will risk his life just to protect the country and his loved ones...awwwww...so damn sweet.. im touched.. he said that teddy will be like him oso.. omg! that will be so nice..now..he really made me like teddy more lah... :(... awwww... and one more thing.. he said that if teddy become exactly like wat hafiz wanna be..he will rather not tell me wat hes doing so as not jeopardize my safety..alah.. i bet u all wun undastan rite.. i will make it clearer lah one dae... i tink this post is too long to continue oredi..haha.. till then.. see ya!

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
9:44 PM;

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

okae.. my initial intention of posting this blog was to write about the outing today with siti.. but within this few minutes online i just saw stg that really made me damn upset.. mw i feel like im in no mood to blog animore.. but..........................okae...chill.... i will talk to you ppl about the outing first.

just now, i went to northpoint to do some shopping... well we walked around i tried a couple of tops and pants... eventually i came across a dress..which really kinda suits me well.. i went to try it out.. and eventually i decided to but that dress.. well i really wanna a dress actually and its part of my wishlist aniway.. so i bought..sumore its cheap.. so i finally got a dress.. happy of course..

back at home.. now..while typing all these.. im feeling very sad.. sumone wrote stg thst just makes me feel sad... im just too sad to continue....... sorry ppl....:(:(:(:(

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
5:03 AM;

Sunday, November 12, 2006

now im inside the dance studio with the dancers of the carte-blanche.. well..i actually came to sch for ntg.. im just bored staying at home so i rather go to sch and watch teddy..hehe!

im actually very upset nw..teddy left without even once look at me lah..am i dat insignificant to him? im just sad that he didnt even look at me..wat more smile at me.. im just upset.. i tink ppl.. the feelings is just way too deep oredi.. i duno how and y but it is.. its just way too deep and i cant help it oredi.. im very sad.. i cant turn back oredi.. y does he seem so special to me? y am i the only one dat find him attractive? argh!!!! i cant help it oredi..

okae..chill... im okae now... bye2!

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
9:18 PM;

Thursday, November 09, 2006

okae.. i gt ntg to do now..im in sch watching my frens dancing2.. so now i would like to blog about my different types of frens that i encountered(mcm creature plk...sori lah i duno wat better word to use)... so here it goes..

LEEA a.k.a KAKAK LAY-AH
she is the kakak for me..hehe.. she is the cheerful, bubbly and outgoing person...she likes to dance and she also likes to BOO BOO..hehe.. she is my fren..
SITI a.k.a COW
she is the ever so lovely fren hu aims to be a princess..haha! kidding aite.. so now she is into sumone now..sampai msg me tanye psl bdk tu nmpk...hehe.. so u gt sth to look forward to sch now..
SUFINA a.k.a WHALE
she is the chickeding of our grp...she always the one hu makes us laugh..therefore shes also a BOOBOO.. siti u oso a booboo k? forgot to mention just now..heehee..
KAT a.k.a MEOW
she is oso a chickeding plus a booboo as well...hehe.. she always like to ACP as mentioned by kakak lay-ah..haha.. she oso likes to dance2 like kakak lay-ah..go AR!

now left with me..haha... of course i can oso say dat im a booboo too..hehe

i oso miss my Orchid Park Wind Orchestra.. i miss the band practices we had..my instrument.. and of course the ppl there... i miss..
1.jannah
2.charlene
3.annette
4.farhana
5.mardiana
6.hafiz
7.siraj
8.faris
9.shafiq
10.shannon
11.azlan
12.hussaini
13.yaser
14.and the rest that i din mention...too much to write lah..

i oso miss my bitchalisation sisters...wen wanna jln rayer man...hehe

most of all i miss teddy meddy!!!haahaa....hopefully teddy misses me too..haha.. perasan seh...okaelah..bye2..tata!

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
8:49 PM;

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

hello ppl.. do u pplactually notice that the list of things that i want to do on the left side of my blog has been fully accomplished..haha! i talked to teddy oredi...went out with teddy oredi... and also get promoted to JC2 nxt year.. yippee! didnt expect things to be done so quickly.. i never ever thought that i could ever go out with teddy.. but i did.. hehe!

aniway, today is a day before OP(oral presentation)... did a dry run with my teacher.. hopefully everything goes smoothly tmr.. and i do hope that the question and answer session would not be so hard..hehe!

honestly, today im kinda upset dat i cant have dinner with teddy...well...its okae.. im sure there are other days that i can spend time with teddy meddy.. im wondering whether teddy remembers abt my OP which is tmr.. well.. i remembered his okae...

okae...thats all! bye ppl.... "Everybody is a Boo Boo"

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
4:22 AM;

Sunday, November 05, 2006

yippee!!! my wishes finally came true....yippee! guz wat? i had a bonding day with teddy todae.. and i finally talked to him for the first time in my entire life.. hehehehe! i lurve teddy... hes so damn nice to me that i just went blank looking at how he treated me.. hes just too nice to be true.. alah..apsal awak cute sangat ah? awak pun adorable lah... i hope this bonding day wun be just the first and the last meeting we had.. tata!

oh gosh...hes just so hot...u just cant believe it but hes just so hot.. with that shades and the "ding-dong"(kakak lay-ah said so) hair made him just so hot.. i totally like the way he wears.. and guz wat? we matched....hahaha! it seems like we are together for a nong nong time... haha! hes just too nice, handsome, gorgeous, charming, dashing and cute to be true...hehe! lap him!

i thank God for all these.. hehe!

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
3:19 AM;

Saturday, November 04, 2006

hehe...yessa! my wish came true.. u noe which wish anot? alah...both teddy and him got promoted to JC2.. yippee! i thought teddy couldnt make it because i heard the assumption that he wants to leave the sch.. aniway, im happy that he can be promoted to next year.. the results were anoounced ytd.. it was kinda bad for the sch to show a list of names.. eventho at first they didnt say wat was it for, but we were not dumb lah.. they flashed it out on to the big screen the names of those who retained.. if me, i will be embarassed.. they shouldnt have done that in the first place.. i pity them seh..

okae..so i was worried when the list of names were shown.. i looked at the screen with full concentration.. i waited for teddy's class....AND...his name was not there! yippee! then i waited a while more for HIM's class...ahah! his name was no there either.. yippee! im so glad that i nearly wanted to cry..haha! emo! but hu cares..im really happy for them and especially teddy.. i hope he does stay on and continue with his education in our sch..

aniway, im sad for kat too... dun worry k? just make him stay and he will surely stay for the sake of u...dun worry so much k? support him aite!

okae2..im happy that i get promoted too.. but i still have a lot to catch up.. i need to go for the remedials and alot more classes to help me in my studies.. now! im into PW again.. next week will be the oral presentation.. thank GOD, its the last thing in PW.. after that no more stressing my brain for that damn tiring PW.. i must practise my speech well so as not to disappoint my grp members..hehe! go CINNA-MON!
hehe! tmr is my fren's open house... i really hope kat remember wat i asked her to do for me.. i really wanna see teddy tmr...hehe!tata!

you are a priority..dun make me ur option instead
4:24 AM;